Photo Credit: Tommy Gilligan, Imagn Images

Let’s be honest: at this point Michigan football has so many scandals they should replace the block M with a giant yellow question mark.
And now—because the universe LOVES giving me material—we’ve got the latest episode of “As The Wolverines Turn.”

And NO, Jim Harbaugh isn’t involved this time.
Shocking, I know.
Somewhere in Los Angeles he’s probably reading this headline like:

“Wait… I didn’t do THIS one?
Are you sure? Triple-check the paperwork.”

But this time the spotlight has swung over to Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore, who has found himself in hot water thanks to an assistant student staffer being removed from the team and the rumor tornado hitting Category 5 immediately.

Because Michigan can’t just have a NORMAL week like regular programs.
No.

They need weekly episodes like it’s Netflix’s biggest drama.
(Rated 1–10 on “How Michigan Is This?”)

This situation?
A full 9.7.
Why?

Because the moment anything happens in Ann Arbor, the public acts like it’s the lost Watergate tapes fused with the Zapruder film and sprinkled with Big Ten tears.

Reporters are now circling the Michigan campus like pigeons hovering above a Yankee Stadium hot dog.
Boosters are whispering like they’re trading state secrets.
Fans are acting like they’re watching the series finale of “Breaking Bad: Harbaugh Edition.”

Look, do I know what’s REALLY going on?

No.
But does that stop anyone else in sports media?
Absolutely not.

Photo Credit: Junfu Han, USA Today

Inside Source #1
Said they saw Moore pacing around like he was calling a fourth-and-goal play from the five.

Inside Source #2
Claimed Michigan’s administrators haven’t been this stressed since they tried to explain how Connor Stallions had more sideline access than Uber drivers do at airports.

Inside Source #3
Told me the Michigan PR department has hit the point where every statement begins with:

“We would really just like ONE QUIET MONTH.”

And honestly? Same.

Ah yes—college football’s favorite question.

Everyone acts like there’s ALWAYS “more behind this,” even when the story is literally: “Guy tripped over a Gatorade cooler.”

Photo Credit: Luke Hales, Getty Images

But because this is Michigan, and because God LOVES comedy…
The internet immediately assumed:

• The FBI is involved
• The Illuminati is involved
• Harbaugh is secretly involved from a beach in Malibu
• A documentary crew is already filming “Untitled Michigan Chaos Project”

Let me be clear:
There is NO confirmed ‘bigger conspiracy’, but the way Michigan’s year has gone? If you told me the mascot was running a black-market headset-scouting ring, I’d ask what conference he transferred from.

Bad enough for national headlines.

Not bad enough to rename the school Scandal University…
Yet.

But the real comedy is this:

Every time Michigan tries to move forward, another scandal pops up like a Whac-A-Mole at Dave & Buster’s.
By spring they’re gonna need a “Punch Card Loyalty Program.”

Michigan fans: panicking.

Coaches: sweating.
Big Ten officials: pacing.
Ohio State fans: buying popcorn.
Jim Harbaugh: sipping a protein shake in California whispering,

“Not my circus. Not my animals… this time.”

Sherrone Moore?
He’s in the middle of it all, holding the clipboard of destiny and whispering to himself:

“Man… I miss the days when all we argued about was whether we ran the ball too much.”

Twitter: @ErrolMarks34
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