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Baseball had beef this week. Not the fun “bench-clearing but everyone just hugs” beef. Not the “guy yells from the dugout and suddenly 40 relievers sprint 200 feet for cardio” beef.
No. This was the “why is someone using a baseball like brass knuckles” kind of beef between Jorge Soler and Reynaldo López — and somehow MLB looked at the whole thing and said:
“Yeah… that’s like… two games.”
TWO GAMES?!
That’s not a suspension — that’s a scheduled off day.
The Part Where A Baseball Became Brass Knuckles
Let’s fix something here — Lopez didn’t throw the baseball.
He gripped it in his hand and used it like brass knuckles and hit Soler with it.
That’s not baseball.
That’s not even hockey.
That’s straight-up backyard fight energy.
A baseball in your hand isn’t just a ball anymore.
That’s:
- a rock with seams
- a mini hammer
- a fist upgrade pack
And MLB looked at that and said:
“Yeah… couple games.”
Couple games?!
That’s not discipline — that’s a suggestion.
Wait… It Gets Worse
Not only was the suspension light… it somehow got more ridiculous.
Lopez appealed the suspension…
And MLB reduced it to 5 games.
Meanwhile… Soler — the guy who got hit —
was handed 7 games.
Let me repeat that slowly…
Lopez hits Soler with a baseball in his fist.
Lopez appeals.
Lopez gets 5 games.
Soler gets 7 games.
HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?!
That’s like suspending the guy who got hit with a chair longer than the guy who swung it.
That’s like giving the victim more jail time.
That’s like punishing the speed bump instead of the car.
MLB Just Invented The “Weapon But Make It Baseball” Rule
So let me get this straight…
Lopez clenches a baseball
Turns his fist into a spiked Mario Kart power-up
Hits Soler with it
Appeals…
Gets LESS games…
And Soler gets MORE?!
MLB discipline feels like it was decided with a roulette wheel.
The Pitcher Discount Is Hilarious
The best part? MLB basically shortened it because he’s a pitcher.
Oh okay.
So if you punch someone with a baseball… but you only work once every five days…
You get a coupon?
“Congratulations on your weaponized fastball fist.
Use code: ROTATION for 50% off discipline.”
This is like suspending a goalie for two shifts.
Like punishing a kicker by making him sit one extra point.
Let’s Compare To Past MLB Fights
Because MLB has dropped the hammer before for WAY less.
When Nolan Ryan Turned Boxing Coach
When Robin Ventura charged the mound, Ryan put him in a headlock and started throwing punches like he was kneading dough.
That was a legit fight.
Old-school chaos.
Texas UFC.
But even THAT didn’t involve using an object as a weapon.
The Most Famous “Weapon” Moment Ever
Remember when Roger Clemens picked up a broken bat shard and threw it toward Mike Piazza during the 2000 World Series?
Yeah… that actually happened.
Clemens basically turned a bat into a javelin.
Piazza looked at him like:
“Did you just throw lumber at me?”
That moment caused outrage everywhere because he used an object as a weapon.
And MLB took that VERY seriously.
Now fast forward to Lopez literally using a baseball like brass knuckles…
And the punishment is lighter?
And after appeal… even lighter?
And Soler gets MORE games?
Make it make sense.
The Pedro Martínez vs Don Zimmer Moment
Pedro tossing Zimmer looked like someone slipped on a banana peel.
The league lost its mind.
Suspensions. Headlines. Drama.
But Pedro didn’t turn his hand into a weapon.
He just… redirected gravity.
José Bautista vs Rougned Odor Boxing Match
Odor landed a perfect right hand.
Bautista’s sunglasses left the stadium.
That was a clean punch.
That got real discipline.
So punching = bad
Punching with a baseball in your hand = apparently… less bad?
WHAT?!
The Dangerous Part Everyone Is Ignoring
This isn’t just funny — it’s actually insane.
Using a baseball in your fist changes everything:
- harder impact
- sharper contact
- higher injury risk
That’s broken bones territory.
That’s orbital fracture territory.
That’s concussion territory.
And MLB treated it like someone flipped sunflower seeds.
MLB Consistency Is A Myth
MLB suspends players for:
- sticky stuff
- bat flips
- staring
- arguing balls and strikes
But using a baseball like brass knuckles?
5 games after appeal…
And the guy who got hit gets 7.
Cool. Makes total sense.
This wasn’t a shove.
This wasn’t chirping.
This wasn’t fake tough guy baseball drama.
Lopez gripped a baseball and used it like brass knuckles and hit Soler.
He appealed… and got LESS games.
Soler got MORE games.
This is the baseball equivalent of:
- the ref ejecting the wrong player
- the umpire calling strike three on the bat boy
- or suspending the bench
At this rate the next fight is going to include:
a bat
two helmets
and someone swinging a rosin bag like nunchucks
And MLB will suspend them until Wednesday.
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