Photo Credit: Eric Canha, Imagn Images
Let me tell you something!
Last night’s Giants–Patriots Monday Night Football game wasn’t a football game. It was a public execution with commercial breaks.
Jaxson Dart took so many hits that I’m pretty sure by the third quarter he started answering to “Alexa.”
Dude was glitching like a broken Madden character. Every time the camera cut to him, he had that expression like he just remembered he left the oven on… in Mississippi.
And the Patriots?
Oh, the Patriots showed up like they were auditioning for the next season of Cobra Kai.
Cheap hits?
HITS?
These weren’t hits — these were scenes from an unlicensed sequel to The Longest Yard.
I haven’t seen this many unnecessary shots since I went to Applebee’s happy hour in 2014.
At one point a Patriots defender hit Dart so late the play had already been uploaded to YouTube.
Even Belichick was on the sideline like,
“Ok guys, maybe tone it down, we’re gonna get sued. And just when the Giants thought humiliation had peaked…
OH NO.
Enter: The Kicker.
Photo Credit: Lon Horwedel, Imagn Images
raw calamari? expired milk? A handful of drywall? —
but whatever it was, it did NOT translate into football success.
This dude lined up for a field goal like a man whose soul had already left his body. He was staring at the uprights the way I stare at my phone when my battery hits 1%: confused, scared, and ready to accept fate.
And then… the kick.
If you can even call it that.
The ball didn’t just miss.
It tried to escape.
It veered off like it saw something horrifying and wanted NO PART OF THIS GAME.
I’ve seen drunk uncles at Thanksgiving kick better after tripping over the turkey.
I’ve seen toddlers punt balloons straighter.
Even the net behind the goalposts was like,
“Bro… don’t drag me into this.”
Fans were booing.
The announcers were giggling.
The cameraman didn’t even bother trying to follow the ball — he just cut to Giants fans shaking their heads like parents watching their kid play the recorder at a school talent show.
This wasn’t a miss.
This was a performance art piece titled:
“Modern Despair: A Study in Futility.”
Photo Credit: Perry Knotts, Getty Images
I checked the stadium.
Checked the parking lot.
Checked the bathrooms.
Nothing.
Daniel Boone couldn’t track down this defense.
Sherlock Holmes would’ve retired.
Every Patriots play looked like someone hit “beginner mode” on Rookie difficulty.
If you’re a Giants fan, this wasn’t a game —
this was a character-building trauma experience.
The type of game you deny under oath.
The type of game that forces you to suddenly say things like:
“You know, soccer’s not that bad.”
- Got hit on plays that weren’t even plays
- Got folded like a Target lawn chair
- Saw the ghost of Eli Manning
- Threw a pass that physics rejected
- Resembled a man trying to escape his own jersey
This game was:
- Ridiculous
- Outrageous
- A cosmic comedy
- The NFL equivalent of slipping on a banana peel
- And most importantly…
exactly the type of chaos I live for.
Giants fans will remember this game forever —
not because they want to,
but because trauma doesn’t have an off-switch.
Twitter: @ErrolMarks34
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My name is Errol Marks and I’d like to tell you why I believe I can be a major asset to your station. I’m from a small town in Long Island, NY and from a very young age I’ve always had a love for sports talk radio. Growing up, I would listen religiously to shows like Mike and the Mad Dog, Mike and Mike, and Imus in the Morning and studied what made those shows so great. I’ve made it my goal to be as influential as the hosts I grew up listening to, and with my knowledge of all major sports, enthusiastic and fearless personality, and my preparation skills, I know I can get to that level. This is an art and a medium that I’m passionate about and one that I feel can never be replaced.
What makes my story so unique goes beyond my 10+ years of experience in sports media. In addition to over ten years of creating and hosting sports talk radio shows, I created the World Wide Sports Radio Network - one of the first ever digital sports radio networks - in 2012. Since the network began, we have had some of the best content in digital sports media. We have six quality shows on our network covering all sports and sports betting. I’m currently hosting New York’s Sports Loud Mouth, and you can find that show and the rest of our great shows at https://worldwidesportsradio.com/.
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My goal since the day I started is to become the greatest and most recognizable sports radio show host in the country. I can guarantee that nobody in this industry currently has my passion, personality or ability to shape the future of sports broadcasting and entertainment like I do. If given the opportunity, I hope to further share my story and many talents with you and your station.
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