Photo Credit: Rich Janzaruk, Herald Times, USA Today
Just when Mendoza thought the squirrel had taken its final victory lap, it returned with backup — three more squirrels, a raccoon, and someone claiming to be a raccoon translator.
- Mendoza dove into a fountain to retrieve the trophy.
- Ty Simpson attempted a “flying interception maneuver,” hit a photographer, and ended up wearing a lampshade.
- Marcel Reed started a BBQ war with the squirrel army.
- Julian Sayin’s grandma threw a Bingo ball that somehow struck a chandelier, causing it to spin like a disco.
- Diego Pavia stared at the scene and telepathically convinced one squirrel to surrender.
Twitter exploded: #HeismanZoo2025, #SquirrelWins, #JulianGrandmaFTW.
- ESPN live tweeted: “We… We think the squirrel just signed a NIL deal. Details pending.”
- Reddit users began an investigation titled: “Who REALLY hypnotized the squirrel? Pavia or God?”
- TikTok recreated Mendoza’s fountain dive in every major city.
- A GoFundMe launched to buy Mendoza a lifetime supply of squirrel repellant — it raised $42,000 in 10 minutes.
My commentary:
“Folks, college football isn’t just a sport — it’s a circus, a soap opera, and now apparently a National Geographic special.”
By 11:50 p.m., reporters were trapped:
- Ty Simpson had tied a cameraman to a tailgate chair.
- Mendoza slid across the stage, knocking over microphones like bowling pins.
- Marcel Reed’s mom established a “BBQ perimeter,” threatening anyone entering without a plate of pulled pork.
- Julian Sayin’s grandma became the self-declared “Head of Security” and started checking IDs.
Photo Credit: Will McLelland, Imagn Images
“At this point, the media should just give up and start live-streaming squirrels. They’d do a better job.”
Outside the venue:
- Fans staged a mock award for the “Best Squirrel Performance.”
- Pavia’s hypnotic stare reportedly caused 17 fans to start doing push-ups mid-Times Square.
- A Mendoza fan built a shrine out of nacho trays and foam fingers.
- Social media polls asked: “Who would you draft first: Mendoza, Pavia, or the raccoon?”
My commentary:
“This isn’t fandom — it’s chaos management 101. And we’re all failing spectacularly.”
After a combined effort of Mendoza sliding, Pavia hypnotizing, and Sayin’s grandma tackling a raccoon, the trophy was finally returned.
- Mendoza, soaking wet, held it high.
- I would say:
“This is what champions look like. Victory, glory… and a mild concussion.”
- Ty Simpson declared: “I think I broke physics and my dignity.”
- Marcel Reed grabbed a hot dog in celebration, calling it “trophy fuel.”
- Diego Pavia disappeared into the crowd, leaving everyone wondering if he had transcended human form.
Photo Credit: Joseph Maiorana, Imagn Images
“The Heisman Afterparty wasn’t a party — it was a live-action cartoon, a multi-species hostage situation, and a social media hurricane all rolled into one.
College football didn’t just give out a trophy tonight. It gave us a story that will haunt our dreams, confuse our cats, and make ESPN interns cry for generations.
If you think you’re ready for next year… you’re not. Bring goggles, body armor, and a translator for raccoons.”
Twitter: @ErrolMarks34
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My name is Errol Marks and I’d like to tell you why I believe I can be a major asset to your station. I’m from a small town in Long Island, NY and from a very young age I’ve always had a love for sports talk radio. Growing up, I would listen religiously to shows like Mike and the Mad Dog, Mike and Mike, and Imus in the Morning and studied what made those shows so great. I’ve made it my goal to be as influential as the hosts I grew up listening to, and with my knowledge of all major sports, enthusiastic and fearless personality, and my preparation skills, I know I can get to that level. This is an art and a medium that I’m passionate about and one that I feel can never be replaced.
What makes my story so unique goes beyond my 10+ years of experience in sports media. In addition to over ten years of creating and hosting sports talk radio shows, I created the World Wide Sports Radio Network - one of the first ever digital sports radio networks - in 2012. Since the network began, we have had some of the best content in digital sports media. We have six quality shows on our network covering all sports and sports betting. I’m currently hosting New York’s Sports Loud Mouth, and you can find that show and the rest of our great shows at https://worldwidesportsradio.com/.
Our network’s content and listenership has grown significantly year to year and, in the past year, we’ve achieved 3.6 million minutes listened on our audio stream, over 29k followers on tik tok, 500k viewed on YouTube, 1.7 million downloads on Apple Podcasts, and 906,917 plays on Spotify. While we are enjoying a continued increase in growth, I feel that we can take this to a new level and a new audience with your help.
My goal since the day I started is to become the greatest and most recognizable sports radio show host in the country. I can guarantee that nobody in this industry currently has my passion, personality or ability to shape the future of sports broadcasting and entertainment like I do. If given the opportunity, I hope to further share my story and many talents with you and your station.
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