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Every Christmas morning, kids sprint to the tree hoping for a PlayStation.
Every Christmas morning, Jets fans wake up hoping the owner sold the team overnight.
This year was no different. The Jets and Giants head into Week 17 with a combined five wins, which is less than Santa’s reindeer and roughly the same number of functioning brain cells inside MetLife Stadium.
So no — Santa didn’t bring me playoffs.
He didn’t bring me hope.
He didn’t even bring me fake hope wrapped in buzzwords like culture.
Instead, Santa looked me dead in the eye, wiped eggnog off his beard, and said:
“I didn’t forget you. I just chose chaos.”
And honestly?
Best Christmas gift I’ve gotten in years.
This season feels like Santa overslept, missed Kansas City’s chimney, and accidentally dropped competitive balance down every other one.
No dominant team.
No automatic Super Bowl reservation.
No “just pencil them in.”
It’s like Santa finally snapped and said:
“You’re all naughty. Figure it out yourselves.”
For a Jets fan, that’s poetry.
Photo Credit: Greg M. Cooper, Associated Press
Drake Maye — The New Toy Everyone’s Afraid to Break
Drake Maye looks great. The stats pop. The arm is real.
But let’s be honest — this schedule has been softer than mall Santa’s beard. He’s beating who he’s supposed to beat, and that matters, but Santa hasn’t seen him fight grown men in January yet.
Right now, he’s still labeled:
Assembly required.
Matthew Stafford — The Old Man Who Refused to Expire
Stafford is 38 years old and throwing lasers like:
“Stop asking me about retirement before I retire YOU.”
No decline. No falloff. Just pure “I’ve been doing this since flip phones” energy. Santa respects veterans who don’t ask for sympathy.
Myles Garrett — Sackin’ QBs Like Santa Empties Cookies
Every quarterback should leave milk and cookies for Myles Garrett.
It won’t help — but it’s respectful.
Garrett is hunting sack records we thought were locked in Santa’s vault forever. Offensive tackles are filing restraining orders. If Santa has a Nice List, Garrett isn’t just on it — he enforces it.
JSN vs. Calvin Johnson’s Ghost
Calvin Johnson’s yardage record was supposed to be untouchable. Sacred. Protected.
JSN walked in like Santa with a master key and said:
“I’ll take that too.”
Megatron somewhere watching like, Yeah… alright.
Mahomes.
Burrow.
Lamar.
For the first time in forever, Santa didn’t just skip their houses — he repossessed the chimneys.
Kansas City feels human. Depressing, even. Travis Kelce looks tired, like Santa after delivering gifts to Buffalo in a blizzard. The Swift decorations may finally be coming down.
The AFC doesn’t belong to anyone anymore — and it’s beautiful.
Photo Credit: Mark J. Rebilas, Imagn Images
THE PLAYOFF PICTURE: SANTA’S OFFICIAL NAUGHTY LIST
Santa didn’t just check it twice this year.
He brought receipts.
Some teams are warm by the fire.
Others are outside in the snow, noses pressed to the glass, praying for Week 18 miracles.
AFC NAUGHTY LIST
Kansas City Chiefs
Reason: Too much dominance, not enough sharing.
Santa finally said, “You’ve had enough Lombardis. Let someone else touch the toys.”
Miami Dolphins
Reason: Only function in warm weather.
December football isn’t a beach.
Baltimore Ravens
Reason: Every year feels like the year… until it isn’t.
Santa wants results, not vibes.
Cleveland Browns
Reason: Defense brought gifts. Offense forgot wrapping paper.
Santa doesn’t reward confusion.
AFC NICE (BUT SWEATING) LIST
Buffalo Bills
Status: If not now, never.
Josh Allen finally gets a Christmas without Mahomes hiding in the chimney.
Jacksonville Jaguars
Status: Sunshine clause approved — temporarily.
Santa prefers Trevor Lawrence over chaos goblins at quarterback.
NFC NAUGHTY LIST
Dallas Cowboys
Reason: Same script, different wrapping paper.
Santa’s seen this movie — it ends early.
Philadelphia Eagles
Reason: Too much drama, not enough peace on earth.
Santa hates locker-room soap operas.
San Francisco 49ers
Reason: Always dominant… until the wheels fall off.
Santa would like one healthy January run, please.
NFC “OUTSIDE IN THE COLD” LIST (HOPE & PRAY EDITION)
Detroit Lions
Status: On the outs, noses pressed against the playoff window.
Hard-nosed, kneecap-biting football — but Santa doesn’t reward moral victories.
They’re standing outside the workshop like:
“C’mon Santa, we’ve been good this year.”
Santa’s response:
“We’ll see how Week 18 goes.”
Wrong year to be human in a street-fight NFC.
Seattle Seahawks
Status: Nobody invited them. They showed up anyway.
They refuse to die — Santa respects that energy.
Whoever Crawls Out Alive
Status: Congratulations.
Santa hands you a helmet and a prayer.
Not Jets wins.
Not Giants pride.
Not peace.
Santa brought me uncertainty.
A league where:
- The Lombardi isn’t pre-ordered
- The AFC has no king
- The NFC is a bar fight
- And every fanbase is checking tiebreakers
As a Jets fan, chaos is my birthright.
This year?
The rest of the NFL finally joined me.
Merry Christmas, NFL.
You didn’t fix my teams — but you blew up the script.
Twitter: @ErrolMarks34
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My name is Errol Marks and I’d like to tell you why I believe I can be a major asset to your station. I’m from a small town in Long Island, NY and from a very young age I’ve always had a love for sports talk radio. Growing up, I would listen religiously to shows like Mike and the Mad Dog, Mike and Mike, and Imus in the Morning and studied what made those shows so great. I’ve made it my goal to be as influential as the hosts I grew up listening to, and with my knowledge of all major sports, enthusiastic and fearless personality, and my preparation skills, I know I can get to that level. This is an art and a medium that I’m passionate about and one that I feel can never be replaced.
What makes my story so unique goes beyond my 10+ years of experience in sports media. In addition to over ten years of creating and hosting sports talk radio shows, I created the World Wide Sports Radio Network - one of the first ever digital sports radio networks - in 2012. Since the network began, we have had some of the best content in digital sports media. We have six quality shows on our network covering all sports and sports betting. I’m currently hosting New York’s Sports Loud Mouth, and you can find that show and the rest of our great shows at https://worldwidesportsradio.com/.
Our network’s content and listenership has grown significantly year to year and, in the past year, we’ve achieved 3.6 million minutes listened on our audio stream, over 29k followers on tik tok, 500k viewed on YouTube, 1.7 million downloads on Apple Podcasts, and 906,917 plays on Spotify. While we are enjoying a continued increase in growth, I feel that we can take this to a new level and a new audience with your help.
My goal since the day I started is to become the greatest and most recognizable sports radio show host in the country. I can guarantee that nobody in this industry currently has my passion, personality or ability to shape the future of sports broadcasting and entertainment like I do. If given the opportunity, I hope to further share my story and many talents with you and your station.
Twitter: @ErrolMarks34
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