Vote Cabana

Vote Cabana

By Dan Radzicki

Election day 2019 is coming up. Many people take these elections off because they are odd year elections. There’s no one running for President, there’s hardly any congressional seats up for grabs, and most people have no idea who the local candidates are, so they’re not sure whom to vote for.

Most people. Not this guy. I know someone who is running in Nassau County for a gig she doesn’t deserve, and frankly should just get the fuck out of politics. That “person” is Kate Murray.

Unfuckable.

Kate Murray was a Town Clerk who was appointed- not elected- to become the Supervisor of the Town of Hempstead. Under Murray’s leadership, the Town saw its credit rating slashed so often – three times in one year alone- that you’d think her maiden name was Krueger. Or if you looked at her, Cruller.

In case you aren’t sure what slashing a credit rating means, here’s the simple version- the Town of Hempstead has a credit score just like you and I. Under Murray, she turned the Town into an equivalent of a score of 400. So when the town wants to borrow money, they pay way higher interest rates than someone who, you know, pays their bills on time? And is responsible?

Also, the mythology of Town of Hempstead Republicans lowering taxes? Yeah, just look at the tax rolls over Murrays term, and fuck Donald Clavin, too. Under Murray taxes became so lopsided that the Town now has to correct the many, many errors left in Murray’s walrus like wake. But that’s not the point.

Murray fucked things up. Big time. Just drive along Hempstead Turnpike or any major road in the TOH. Count the shuttered businesses. Count the vacant stores. On a main road. Nice job, tubby.

And yes, Kate is fat. This leads to nicknames like Cake Murray, Kate Morbidity, Kate Munchie, and Big Fat Whaleass Lard Gunt.

” Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin chin chin chin chin.”

But even this egregious governance will still find a loyal following of sheep who think politics works like sports, where there is a winner and a loser and nothing in between. And oddly, this is what sank her like the iceberg she is to a Titanic.

In short, she fucked with something people love.

Kate Murray opposed the redevelopment of the Nassau Hub. For those who don’t know, the Nassau Hub is the area presently occupied by the Nassau Coliseum, a Hotel, a giant parking lt, and now a Sloan Kettering building. And by opposing the redevelopment of the Hub, Murray specifically told the Islanders to beat it. Look at this quote from May, 2012, a season that the Islanders missed the playoffs:

“Our work has been completed. We adopted our zone for the Coliseum area. Because this was such a jewel in the crown property, we created a zone that is sustainable from an economic standpoint…These are low days for the NHL. With the Rangers, it’s exciting.”

With the Ranger, it’s exciting? Well Chunk, it’s exciting to live in the Town of Babylon where they actually manage to assess property tax without an entire cottage industry of lawyers fighting tax errors. It’s exciting to live in the Town of North Hempstead where there are Gold Coast mansions. What’s exciting about the Town of Hempstead, south of people throwing hay on the floor of your office and watching you do what you do best?

If only they told her they had concession stands…

Imagine someone handing you a paycheck for hundreds of thousands of dollars each year- maybe millions, KNOWING that you’d piss every penny away on nothing, and you turn around and kick them in the nuts? That’s what Murray did. Check out this other quote from Quasimodo:

“While we were making these investments, what were Bettman, the NHL and its wealthy owners doing? Seemingly, nothing except casting the occasional stone our way. Well, it’s time for them to put their money where their mouth is. Why can’t the league and its owners put together a financing package for Wang so that he can build his new Coliseum with private funds, in much the same way that former Red Sox owner John I. Taylor did with Fenway Park?”

On this point, she’s not entirely wrong. Sports leagues should not expect or receive public subsidies for sports arenas. It’s a losing proposition and hurts taxpayers who pay for rich people to get more rich. And she’s right that Wang never offered to pay for just a new Coliseum out of his own pocket. However, sports leagues generally don’t pay for arenas, because most areas see having a sports team as a matter of local and civic pride. As an item that unifies the surrounding areas that brings people together. But I guess it’s impossible to expect someone to have pride that lets themselves look like that.

Even as we approach this current election, Murray has said that it was never about the team but about the land. The land that she did absolutely nothing with. She also said that Islander fans should move on because we’re back at the Coliseum- despite her efforts against such- and are successful so that’s enough.

Wrong, lardass. Wrong.

Understand that up to this point in time in writing this, I had no idea who was the Town Clerk for the Town of Hempstead, or even who running against Murray. I had to look it up to finish writing this mess.

Here’s what I do know- I would vote for a tin can before I’d vote for that Moe from the Three Stooges haircut having slob. People say in politics that they want a uniter, not a divider. Well folks, Murray has united Islander fans. How do I know? Because as I drove home one day from work, I saw a Kate Murray campaign poster on my block. And someone spray painted an Islanders logo over her name.

We don’t forget our heroes- their names hang in our rafters. And we don’t forget our enemies- their names fall out of our mouths with disgust. Fuck you, Dale Hunter, Fuck you, Mark Messier. Fuck you, Kirk Muller. Fuck you, John Tavares.

In the most meaningless endorsement ever given, I am on record endorsing Sylvia Cabana. I mean, unless she’s a kid toucher or a crackhead, of course. I don’t know her, so I can’t vouch for that. She seems nice. But I know who she’s not, and I know she’s never spoken ill about the Islanders. And she even wants us to have NHL hockey games in our backyard.

According to Kate, #Isles fans have “moved on”. Let’s send her a message on November 5th to show we haven’t forgotten! Progress is on the ballot! Thanking you in advance for your contribution and support!https://t.co/iiVbfSf4KY— Sylvia A. Cabana (@SylviaCabana) February 22, 2019

So on November 5, Islanders fans, do not forget who the political equivalent of the Rangers are. The difference? If Kate heard the chicken dance, she’d eat it. Vote Cabana. And maybe find a town patronage job for fatso. I understand the weeds by the Coliseum need some grazing.

Stars Come Out to Support Derek Jeter At His 23rd Annual Foundation Gala

Stars Come Out to Support Derek Jeter At His 23rd Annual Foundation Gala

Keith Allison / Flickr

By Rob Lep

Derek Jeter is sports royalty. A New York sports icon. Mt. Rushmore. A five-time World Series champion with the New York Yankees and captain from 2003-14.

At Cipriani Wall Street in downtown Manhattan, decked out with a red carpet — athletes and celebrities came out to support Jeter and this amazing cause.

At the top of the list, New York sports legends like John Starks, John Franco, Larry Johnson, Ken Daneyko, etc.

From the Turn 2 website: “The star-studded gala celebrated Turn 2 and its work to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. The event raised more than $1 million for the Foundation’s programs that foster academic achievement, healthy lifestyles, positive behavior, social change and leadership development.

“It’s been a long time from when we started,” Jeter said. “I don’t think we could ever have sat down and say it would grow to how big it is now. It’s something my entire family is so proud of.

Keith Allison / Flickr

“It’s good to have a bond with someone like him,” Starks said. “Who has done it the right way throughout his career and right now…Derek and I are good friends. Just a class individual on and off the court.”

John Franco spent 15 seasons in Flushing with the Metropolitans. He’s a four-time All-Star and the team’s all-time franchise leader in saves. On December 6, 1989, at the age of 29, he was traded with Don Brown to the Mets for Randy Myers and Kip Gross.

Franco and Jeter developed their relationship during their careers while playing in New York at the same time.

“I’m here to support Derek and he does a tremendous job with his foundation. When Derek Jeter calls, hey ‘why not’ I’m a local guy and when a local guy does a fundraiser, it’s good to give back.”

He led the league in saves for the 1988, 1990, and 1994 seasons. He reached the postseason for the first time in 1999 and the World Series in 2000.

Not to worry, the NHL was well represented too. Ken Daneyko is a former NHL player who played his entire career with the New Jersey Devils and currently serves as an analyst for the team on MSG Networks.

“Events like this,” Danyeko said. “The great Derek Jeter who I have a lot of respect for and have known a little bit playing in close proximity in the New York-New Jersey metro area. Try to give back a little bit that you can… always fun to catch up with him. He’s a class act.”

Please Give The Patriots Defense Some Respect

New York, N.Y.- For too long this season, the most dominant unit in football hasn’t been getting their proper recognition. Monday night was a coming out party for this unit that finally got the attention of many around the nation. Don’t try to discredit their accomplishments by pointing to their schedule or lessen the impressiveness by pointing to flaws in opponent’s offenses instead of the strengths on their defense. Don’t do it. Folks it’s time we finally time to put some respect on the name of the defense of the New England Patriots. 

The Patriots defense has statistically been the greatness defense we’ve ever seen in the Super Bowl era through the first seven games. Better than the 1985 Bears. More dominant than the 2000 Ravens or any other defensive stalwart you want to point to. For all of the times Tom Brady had to bailout this bend but don’t break defense, the script has flipped this season. It’s been the defense leading the way in support of the offense. 

(Staff Photo By Matt Stone/MediaNews Group/Boston Herald)

Monday Night Football was the latest showcase for this group of elite defenders as they intercepted Jets quarterback Sam Darnold four times, strip sacked him once and recovered a muffed punt that added up to six turnovers caused by New England. The Patriots have now taken the ball away 22 times during these seven games, an average of over three turnovers per game. 

Even more impressive than their penchant for taking the ball away are their defensive passing numbers. New England has intercepted opponents 18 times so far while yielding just one passing touchdown. In a league where passing is in vogue and rules are created to benefit offenses, this seems statistically impossible. 

Their scoring defense has been outstanding all season long, allowing a league-best 48 points through seven games, a mind-numbing average of 6.86 points per game. This has led to owning the best point differential at plus-175 since the 1920 Buffalo All-Americans. While the biggest knock to the Patriots success has been the schedule they’ve played, no schedule is bad enough to accidentally post a point differential record that hasn’t been topped in 100 years. 

The gold standard for defense has always been viewed as the 1985 Bears. During that dominant season, that Bears defense allowed a 51.2 cumulative quarterback passer rating against them. Through seven games so far, the cumulative average rating against the Patriots defense has been 35.6. Think about the dominance it takes to best the ’85 Bears in an era that’s bred for quarterbacks.   

While I can bore you to death with numbers and stats, hearing what a current quarterback says about this defense can lend credence to the point I am making. ESPN mic’d up Darnold during Monday’s game and picked up a sound bite that went viral on social media. The second year quarterback was on the bench looking perplexed after yet another turnover when he muttered how he’s “seeing ghosts” on the field. 

This is a testament to not only the scheme that Belichick employs, but the disguise of it as well. Plenty of times we saw Pats defenders crowd the line with Darnold thinking their defense would be doing one thing while instead they would do something completely different. This confused his reads once the ball was snapped and had the USC graduate throwing the ball into windows where defenders were waiting. Don’t forget, this was the same quarterback that torched the Cowboys defense the previous week, throwing for 338 yards and two touchdowns. 

Don’t get me wrong; the tests are coming for this vaunted Patriots defense. The next six games are against the Browns, Ravens, Eagles, Cowboys, Texans and Chiefs. All six teams will push the Patriots like they haven’t been pushed before. 

But for now, please soak in just how historic this New England defense has been in an era dominated by offense. One touchdown pass allowed and the highest point differential in 100 years doesn’t happen by accident. I’m not projecting the Patriots to be the best defense in the history of the game once the season comes to a close. I’m just trying to bring to attention that through the first seven games, they have been.

The NBA, China, and You

The NBA, China, and You

The NBA is performing its annual world exhibition series. This series of games is part of the goodwill of the best professional league in the world, but also reflects the ever growing global popularity of the game of basketball. Basketball is popular because it’s as cheap to play as soccer, and is an accessible game to pretty much anyone. Fans in China especially love basketball and are very supportive of the NBA.

Then the literal shit hit the fan. Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey spoke in support of the protests presently going on in Hong Kong. In case you weren’t sure what was going on in Hong Kong, here is the short version:

Since 1997, Hong Kong has been a part of China after being a British colony. The residents have historically had decades of autonomy from China, and built a thriving economy. China has mostly left Hong Kong alone as it has been a cash cow, but every now and then China pokes at Hong Kong just to remind them who is really in charge.

Protesters attend a demonstration demanding Hong Kong’s leaders to step down and withdraw the extradition bill, in Hong Kong, China, June 16, 2019. REUTERS/Tyrone Siu – RC12BDB5C070

The present protests originate from a bill that was introduced that would allow Hong Kong to deport suspected criminals to mainland China to face trial there. Many people feel that such would guarantee extraditions initiated by China, more criminal convictions and violate their rights, so the residents took to the streets to protest.

They’re also protesting police corruption and brutality, and at least one protestor has been killed by police during these protests. And the protestors also want the promises of expanded democracy from a 2014 bill enforced. Lots of moving parts, but basically, they want democracy.

Rockets GM Morey tweeted support for the residents of Hong Kong because generally, the United States should be supporting democracies all over the world. It has been a foreign policy of ours since World War Two, one of the main reasons that we spend billions of dollars to support Israel today, and the impetus for at least four military conflicts in the last 50 years or so.

A tweet is so innocuous, right? WRONG. Morey was bombarded with HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of angry tweets from China. League officials started to speak out of both ends of their mouths. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said he supports free speech for NBA employees, and in the same breath said there are consequences for your free speech. The message was received by the rank and file of the NBA.

Champion coaches Gregg Popovich and Steve Kerr danced around supporting Hong Kong despite being vocal critics of the United States. Lebron James called Morey “uneducated,” which is interesting. I’m sure there is no direct financial tie between Lebron and China. Also Lebron managed to firmly plant his foot in his mouth in the process. But more on this later.

Even present Brooklyn Nets owner Joe Tsai wrote a rambling letter attacking Morey’s knowledge of China and explaining a history of foreign imperialism in China and why Chinese are so sensitive to western commentary on Chinese life and culture.

Interestingly, Tsai is from Taiwan, a state that has been long backed by a Western nation that has preserved their autonomy. Tsai came to America and got a degree from Yale, and worked hard to earn a $700,000 annual salary from a Swedish investment firm in Hong Kong before he took those earnings back to the mainland to start the Chinese equivalent of Amazon, an American idea.

Even more interestingly, all of the aforementioned actors are silent on the current Chinese persecution of the Muslim Uighur population, who are pretty much presently sitting in camps which the Chinese say serve the purpose of reeducation. Any person who has ever read a history book knows what reeducation means. You would think a guy that makes profits in China and became an internet billionaire like Tsai would want all the people in China to be his customers and be free to shop on line, but he’s predictably quiet on the subject.

I get the feeling that Joe Tsai is an asshole, but it’s just a feeling. Based on anecdotal data. I’m sure he gets birthday gifts for his kids or something, but I don’t have a source on that.

So you may be asking, why is the NBA so afraid of China? Why are the players shutting the fuck up? Why are North American arenas taking away not only protest signs, but also informational campaigns out of their arenas? And the answer is simple- money.

The NBA collective bargaining agreement (CBA) creates a split in league generated revenue between players and owners at basically a 50-50 share. The players share of revenue is generally expressed in the salary cap. If you’ve followed the NBA, you’d know that revenues grow annually, meaning the cap grows annually, so every year players get paid more and more.

Want an example? When the New York Knicks gave undrafted bench energy player Ron Baker a contract, it was for a two way roughly $540,000. That’s like sports minimum wage. However, Baker had a management team that believed in handing out bad contracts more than they believed in him. Baker as a rookie averaged 4 points, 2 rebounds and 2 assists a game for that season. Those stats made him a multimillionaire.

The Knicks gave Baker $9 million dollars over the next two years. I’m pretty sure I can post those same stats for $530k over 50 games like Baker did, and would gladly sign a 2 year deal for $9 million. And not even see the end of that contract, as he was waved by both the Knicks the Washington Wizards last season.

Why the fuck would you give Ron Baker a $10 million net value as a human being? Because the NBA prints money.

The salary cap for the upcoming season is $109 million, and is expected to more to $117 million for the 2020-2021 season. Why go through all of this?

Because China. If China decides “Nah, fuck you” to the NBA and stops showing games, supporting teams, cutting off apparel sales, the conservative estimate is that the NBA salary cap for 2020-2021 is going to be $99 million, and the doomsday estimate is $94 million.

From $117 million to $94 million? That means a team loses $46 million in revenues. And the players on that team combined lose $23 million. But that’s not just all.

Hong Kong has an opinion, too

There are 30 teams in the NBA. That’s $690 million of player salaries that will go away. Raises that will be reduced. Unrestricted free agents what will see pay cuts for becoming a better player. Veterans who will have prematurely ending careers. Do you think that players want to see nearly $700 million go up in smoke? And owners see almost $1.4 billion not hit their bank accounts? FUCK NO.

So you want to know why Lebron is toeing a line? Or Popovich? Or Kerr? Or every player in the league? Or arena security? Because everyone has jobs and money on the line. The NBA players union assuredly wants the cap to escalate, not return to 2016- which was $94 million.

As American citizens, we enjoy the ideas of democracy and freedom. We believe on some level that we should support sucj ideas if they are in our best interest. And people are looking at a guy like Lebron- a guy who has never had loyalty to anything in a career but Lebron and opportunity- who made some hypocritical statements and are calling him a dick. Lebron actually said that in this matter he does not want to be political. He doesn’t want to be political? He mocked the current president. He campaigned for Hillary Clinton in 2016. He’s gotten involved in public schooling in Ohio. He’s been vocal in the Black Lives Matter movement. He’s absolutely political.

And today? He’s China’s bitch. So…maybe he has more in common with the president than he realizes.

I talk to people. I have yet to meet one that has said “I agree with what Lebron did. He has to cover his ass.” Pretty much everyone sees him as full of shit, which is easy to realize if you every watched that self-absorbed shit ESPN “The Decision” soap opera.

There are many people who are yelling that Lebron should have made a statement about the Hong Kong situation. They say things like “You have to express what you feel even if its in the face of losing money” or “If you believe in the cause, who cares what your boss says, because freedom is important!” A lot of these people are right leaning, which I find interesting.

Why? Because they’re fucking hypocrites.

How did I make that jump? Remember that Colin Kaepernick guy? The guy that expressed what he believed in despite losing a lot of money? And they spoke out for freedom and social issues despite his bosses asking him not to? Oh, they guy was buried. “Shut the fuck up and play!” How DARE you take a knee during what historically has been…a commercial break. When TV networks- like right leaning Fox and left leaning CBS- have taken a knee for the anthem, too.

And these same douchebags? They were the ones saying about Kaepernick “If I did whatever I wanted to at my job without a care about what my boss said? I’d be so fired!” So, to be clear, you’d shut up and do as your told? Like Lebron is doing?

Yes, I know you’re not worth half a billion dollars as Lebron is. But while there is some courage in having “fuck you” money, most people like to get paid to do things. Can Lebron never work again and be ok? Sure, absolutely. Can you and I? No. So he should live by different rules than you do? Who else is subject to your whims? So, here’s what I’d suggest.

Shut the fuck up. It’s easy to have armchair courage. But fact is, people love to just complain and never fix shit. And I’m not even talking about the racism angle here, which absolutely has something to do with it. I don’t recall anyone complaining when Boston Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas refused to meet then President Barack Obama. Seems people liked the freedom of expression back then that they presently hate with the Golden State Warriors announcing that they’ll do the same.  

In short, is the NBA scared about potentially losing billions of dollars? Absolutely. Is Lebron James a douche? Absolutely. Is Joe Tsai a selfish fucked up opportunistic individual? Absolutely. Would you rock a boat at work about your feelings? Not a fucking chance. So when we complain about Kerr and Lebron, are we hypocritical? Well…you are. I don’t have the suck up gene.

In short, people don’t just want nice things. They want to complain. They want to bury someone and will dance around their reality to do so, like those fucktards that are incels or the skags that are social justice warriors or the jerkoffs who gossip at the office. The NBA and China encouraged people to be douchebags about this specific topic, but if it wasn’t them there would be some other nonsense to blame. So feel however you want about Lebron or China or the NBA. Just don’t pretend that you’re better than any of them. And try to be as good as Daryl Morey.

How to Address The NFL’s Officiating Issues

How to Address The NFL’s Officiating Issues

By Ryan Hickey

New York, N.Y.- Monday night provided yet another platform for the biggest stars of the NFL season to help determine the outcome of a game, and I’m not referring to any players on the Packers or Lions. The officials stole the show yet again, injecting themselves into a game that eventually saw the Packers win the game on a Mason Crosby game-winning field goal as time expired.

The referees were front and center yet again due to a couple of brutal gaffs in the fourth quarter that helped keep the Packers hopes alive. Lions defensive lineman Trey Flowers was flagged for two “hands to the face” penalties in the fourth quarter that after a quick replay showed both plays were legal and the flag should have stayed off the field. Troy Vincent, the NFL’s executive vice president of football operations, admitted Tuesday that the second penalty on Flowers should not have been called, a too little too late consolation prize for Lions fans.  

Penalty flags have been flying at an alarming rate this season. As Paul Hembekides pointed out on twitter, there has been an extreme spike in flags per game this season. From 2016-2018, there were on average 15.8 penalties per game. In 2019, there have been 18.3, a jump of 2.5 extra flags per game. In Sunday’s Jets-Cowboys game, there was a penalty flag thrown on six consecutive plays. Six. Consecutive. Plays.

This is a trend the NFL can’t have. With the rules in place to protect players and world-class athletes training all year, the game has never seen a more talented group of players on the field. It should be these players whose jerseys we wear and social media handles we follow that determine the outcomes of games on the field.

Herein lies the true problem: a solution is easier said than done. One common fix tossed around is the addition of a “sky judge” to each game’s officiating crew, which would place an official in the booth to buzz down to the on-field refs to help correct any egregious calls made in real time.

Two issues I see with this are: 1) We’ve seen with the new pass interference challenge system that officials are rarely changing the call on the field. If referees are still deferring to the call made on the field, even if it’s obvious during the review that the wrong call was made, I don’t have much confidence that having an official in the booth buzzing down to correct any missed call would work all that differently 2) As the Washington Post points out, the NFL is leery that they could even find 17 qualified officials to fill these new jobs.

The only plausible solution I’ve come up with so far has been to re-train officials and insert a mindset that the less flags thrown per game the better. Part of the problem I believe is that it’s easier than ever to know if the call is right or wrong because television broadcasts can provide every angle of a questionable call. This has made trying to officiate a game harder than ever, as us fans on the couch sometimes have better angles than the referees do on the field.

I’d like to think I’m with the majority when I say I’d rather see a probable penalty not called than a phantom flag thrown to give an undeserving team a second chance. If refs are trained to stay out of the way and only throws flags for obvious penalties, the game will profit in the long run.

The setback with any solution is that it can’t fix the here-and-now problems of the 2019 season. Officiating is a fickle profession that relies on humans to make snap judgments without the benefit of replay like we have at home. The NFL knows this is a problem. It’s up to them to make sure the biggest headlines after the game are about the players on the field.