Vote Cabana

Vote Cabana

By Dan Radzicki

Election day 2019 is coming up. Many people take these elections off because they are odd year elections. There’s no one running for President, there’s hardly any congressional seats up for grabs, and most people have no idea who the local candidates are, so they’re not sure whom to vote for.

Most people. Not this guy. I know someone who is running in Nassau County for a gig she doesn’t deserve, and frankly should just get the fuck out of politics. That “person” is Kate Murray.


Kate Murray was a Town Clerk who was appointed- not elected- to become the Supervisor of the Town of Hempstead. Under Murray’s leadership, the Town saw its credit rating slashed so often – three times in one year alone- that you’d think her maiden name was Krueger. Or if you looked at her, Cruller.

In case you aren’t sure what slashing a credit rating means, here’s the simple version- the Town of Hempstead has a credit score just like you and I. Under Murray, she turned the Town into an equivalent of a score of 400. So when the town wants to borrow money, they pay way higher interest rates than someone who, you know, pays their bills on time? And is responsible?

Also, the mythology of Town of Hempstead Republicans lowering taxes? Yeah, just look at the tax rolls over Murrays term, and fuck Donald Clavin, too. Under Murray taxes became so lopsided that the Town now has to correct the many, many errors left in Murray’s walrus like wake. But that’s not the point.

Murray fucked things up. Big time. Just drive along Hempstead Turnpike or any major road in the TOH. Count the shuttered businesses. Count the vacant stores. On a main road. Nice job, tubby.

And yes, Kate is fat. This leads to nicknames like Cake Murray, Kate Morbidity, Kate Munchie, and Big Fat Whaleass Lard Gunt.

” Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin chin chin chin chin.”

But even this egregious governance will still find a loyal following of sheep who think politics works like sports, where there is a winner and a loser and nothing in between. And oddly, this is what sank her like the iceberg she is to a Titanic.

In short, she fucked with something people love.

Kate Murray opposed the redevelopment of the Nassau Hub. For those who don’t know, the Nassau Hub is the area presently occupied by the Nassau Coliseum, a Hotel, a giant parking lt, and now a Sloan Kettering building. And by opposing the redevelopment of the Hub, Murray specifically told the Islanders to beat it. Look at this quote from May, 2012, a season that the Islanders missed the playoffs:

“Our work has been completed. We adopted our zone for the Coliseum area. Because this was such a jewel in the crown property, we created a zone that is sustainable from an economic standpoint…These are low days for the NHL. With the Rangers, it’s exciting.”

With the Ranger, it’s exciting? Well Chunk, it’s exciting to live in the Town of Babylon where they actually manage to assess property tax without an entire cottage industry of lawyers fighting tax errors. It’s exciting to live in the Town of North Hempstead where there are Gold Coast mansions. What’s exciting about the Town of Hempstead, south of people throwing hay on the floor of your office and watching you do what you do best?

If only they told her they had concession stands…

Imagine someone handing you a paycheck for hundreds of thousands of dollars each year- maybe millions, KNOWING that you’d piss every penny away on nothing, and you turn around and kick them in the nuts? That’s what Murray did. Check out this other quote from Quasimodo:

“While we were making these investments, what were Bettman, the NHL and its wealthy owners doing? Seemingly, nothing except casting the occasional stone our way. Well, it’s time for them to put their money where their mouth is. Why can’t the league and its owners put together a financing package for Wang so that he can build his new Coliseum with private funds, in much the same way that former Red Sox owner John I. Taylor did with Fenway Park?”

On this point, she’s not entirely wrong. Sports leagues should not expect or receive public subsidies for sports arenas. It’s a losing proposition and hurts taxpayers who pay for rich people to get more rich. And she’s right that Wang never offered to pay for just a new Coliseum out of his own pocket. However, sports leagues generally don’t pay for arenas, because most areas see having a sports team as a matter of local and civic pride. As an item that unifies the surrounding areas that brings people together. But I guess it’s impossible to expect someone to have pride that lets themselves look like that.

Even as we approach this current election, Murray has said that it was never about the team but about the land. The land that she did absolutely nothing with. She also said that Islander fans should move on because we’re back at the Coliseum- despite her efforts against such- and are successful so that’s enough.

Wrong, lardass. Wrong.

Understand that up to this point in time in writing this, I had no idea who was the Town Clerk for the Town of Hempstead, or even who running against Murray. I had to look it up to finish writing this mess.

Here’s what I do know- I would vote for a tin can before I’d vote for that Moe from the Three Stooges haircut having slob. People say in politics that they want a uniter, not a divider. Well folks, Murray has united Islander fans. How do I know? Because as I drove home one day from work, I saw a Kate Murray campaign poster on my block. And someone spray painted an Islanders logo over her name.

We don’t forget our heroes- their names hang in our rafters. And we don’t forget our enemies- their names fall out of our mouths with disgust. Fuck you, Dale Hunter, Fuck you, Mark Messier. Fuck you, Kirk Muller. Fuck you, John Tavares.

In the most meaningless endorsement ever given, I am on record endorsing Sylvia Cabana. I mean, unless she’s a kid toucher or a crackhead, of course. I don’t know her, so I can’t vouch for that. She seems nice. But I know who she’s not, and I know she’s never spoken ill about the Islanders. And she even wants us to have NHL hockey games in our backyard.

According to Kate, #Isles fans have “moved on”. Let’s send her a message on November 5th to show we haven’t forgotten! Progress is on the ballot! Thanking you in advance for your contribution and support!— Sylvia A. Cabana (@SylviaCabana) February 22, 2019

So on November 5, Islanders fans, do not forget who the political equivalent of the Rangers are. The difference? If Kate heard the chicken dance, she’d eat it. Vote Cabana. And maybe find a town patronage job for fatso. I understand the weeds by the Coliseum need some grazing.

Pride of the Island

Pride of the Island

A famous philosophical thought experiment once asked the question, “If a tree falls in a forest, and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” The same observation can qualify when discussing the 2019-20 New York Islanders season.

The recent events for fans in New York have not been happy, They watched the Yankees fall to the Astros in the ALCS, the Giants and Jets implode and the Rangers and Devils stub struggle early. Meanwhile, the Islanders are the tree that fell in the forest.

On Sunday, the Islanders defeated the Philadelphia Flyers for their seventh straight victory. The previous time they accomplished that was December 31, 1989-January 19, 1990, when they won 9 consecutive games.

Long Island’s hockey team raised expectations this season after collecting 103 points last season. The defensive system employed by head coach Barry Trotz continues to pay dividends.

How the Islanders win exemplifies the team. No one ranks in the top 50 among individual scorers. Only Brock Nelson (10) has reached double figures in points. Mathew Barzal ranks tied for 29th with five goals scored.

Winning pretty doesn’t matter, results matter. The Islanders’ four lines all swarm the ice like one. Each line relentlessly makes their opponent submit to constant pressure. Fourteen different players have scored a goal. In a win against Winnipeg, ten players registered a point.

In goal, newcomer Semyon Varlamov has made fans forget about the departed Robin Lehner, winning his last four starts while registering a .935 save percentage. Tomas Griess continues to show the vast improvement he showed last season, allowing two goals or fewer in four of his five starts.

On defense, Nick Leddy deposited the first penalty shot for a defenseman in team history against the Senators. Leddy is one of three defensemen (Johnny Boychuk, Devon Toews) with five points. Adam Pelech (32) and Ryan Pulock (26) rank in the top 12 for a unit that leads the NHL in blocked shots.

The Islanders get to enjoy a few days off before resuming their season Friday at the Nassau Coliseum against the defending President Trophy Winners, Tampa Bay Lightning. Perhaps fans in the area will finally hear that tree fall if they continue to win quietly.

Stars Come Out to Support Derek Jeter At His 23rd Annual Foundation Gala

Stars Come Out to Support Derek Jeter At His 23rd Annual Foundation Gala

Keith Allison / Flickr

By Rob Lep

Derek Jeter is sports royalty. A New York sports icon. Mt. Rushmore. A five-time World Series champion with the New York Yankees and captain from 2003-14.

At Cipriani Wall Street in downtown Manhattan, decked out with a red carpet — athletes and celebrities came out to support Jeter and this amazing cause.

At the top of the list, New York sports legends like John Starks, John Franco, Larry Johnson, Ken Daneyko, etc.

From the Turn 2 website: “The star-studded gala celebrated Turn 2 and its work to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. The event raised more than $1 million for the Foundation’s programs that foster academic achievement, healthy lifestyles, positive behavior, social change and leadership development.

“It’s been a long time from when we started,” Jeter said. “I don’t think we could ever have sat down and say it would grow to how big it is now. It’s something my entire family is so proud of.

Keith Allison / Flickr

“It’s good to have a bond with someone like him,” Starks said. “Who has done it the right way throughout his career and right now…Derek and I are good friends. Just a class individual on and off the court.”

John Franco spent 15 seasons in Flushing with the Metropolitans. He’s a four-time All-Star and the team’s all-time franchise leader in saves. On December 6, 1989, at the age of 29, he was traded with Don Brown to the Mets for Randy Myers and Kip Gross.

Franco and Jeter developed their relationship during their careers while playing in New York at the same time.

“I’m here to support Derek and he does a tremendous job with his foundation. When Derek Jeter calls, hey ‘why not’ I’m a local guy and when a local guy does a fundraiser, it’s good to give back.”

He led the league in saves for the 1988, 1990, and 1994 seasons. He reached the postseason for the first time in 1999 and the World Series in 2000.

Not to worry, the NHL was well represented too. Ken Daneyko is a former NHL player who played his entire career with the New Jersey Devils and currently serves as an analyst for the team on MSG Networks.

“Events like this,” Danyeko said. “The great Derek Jeter who I have a lot of respect for and have known a little bit playing in close proximity in the New York-New Jersey metro area. Try to give back a little bit that you can… always fun to catch up with him. He’s a class act.”

Please Give The Patriots Defense Some Respect

New York, N.Y.- For too long this season, the most dominant unit in football hasn’t been getting their proper recognition. Monday night was a coming out party for this unit that finally got the attention of many around the nation. Don’t try to discredit their accomplishments by pointing to their schedule or lessen the impressiveness by pointing to flaws in opponent’s offenses instead of the strengths on their defense. Don’t do it. Folks it’s time we finally time to put some respect on the name of the defense of the New England Patriots. 

The Patriots defense has statistically been the greatness defense we’ve ever seen in the Super Bowl era through the first seven games. Better than the 1985 Bears. More dominant than the 2000 Ravens or any other defensive stalwart you want to point to. For all of the times Tom Brady had to bailout this bend but don’t break defense, the script has flipped this season. It’s been the defense leading the way in support of the offense. 

(Staff Photo By Matt Stone/MediaNews Group/Boston Herald)

Monday Night Football was the latest showcase for this group of elite defenders as they intercepted Jets quarterback Sam Darnold four times, strip sacked him once and recovered a muffed punt that added up to six turnovers caused by New England. The Patriots have now taken the ball away 22 times during these seven games, an average of over three turnovers per game. 

Even more impressive than their penchant for taking the ball away are their defensive passing numbers. New England has intercepted opponents 18 times so far while yielding just one passing touchdown. In a league where passing is in vogue and rules are created to benefit offenses, this seems statistically impossible. 

Their scoring defense has been outstanding all season long, allowing a league-best 48 points through seven games, a mind-numbing average of 6.86 points per game. This has led to owning the best point differential at plus-175 since the 1920 Buffalo All-Americans. While the biggest knock to the Patriots success has been the schedule they’ve played, no schedule is bad enough to accidentally post a point differential record that hasn’t been topped in 100 years. 

The gold standard for defense has always been viewed as the 1985 Bears. During that dominant season, that Bears defense allowed a 51.2 cumulative quarterback passer rating against them. Through seven games so far, the cumulative average rating against the Patriots defense has been 35.6. Think about the dominance it takes to best the ’85 Bears in an era that’s bred for quarterbacks.   

While I can bore you to death with numbers and stats, hearing what a current quarterback says about this defense can lend credence to the point I am making. ESPN mic’d up Darnold during Monday’s game and picked up a sound bite that went viral on social media. The second year quarterback was on the bench looking perplexed after yet another turnover when he muttered how he’s “seeing ghosts” on the field. 

This is a testament to not only the scheme that Belichick employs, but the disguise of it as well. Plenty of times we saw Pats defenders crowd the line with Darnold thinking their defense would be doing one thing while instead they would do something completely different. This confused his reads once the ball was snapped and had the USC graduate throwing the ball into windows where defenders were waiting. Don’t forget, this was the same quarterback that torched the Cowboys defense the previous week, throwing for 338 yards and two touchdowns. 

Don’t get me wrong; the tests are coming for this vaunted Patriots defense. The next six games are against the Browns, Ravens, Eagles, Cowboys, Texans and Chiefs. All six teams will push the Patriots like they haven’t been pushed before. 

But for now, please soak in just how historic this New England defense has been in an era dominated by offense. One touchdown pass allowed and the highest point differential in 100 years doesn’t happen by accident. I’m not projecting the Patriots to be the best defense in the history of the game once the season comes to a close. I’m just trying to bring to attention that through the first seven games, they have been.

Prime Time Another Offensive Display For Jets

Prime Time Another Offensive Display For Jets

Albert Einstein once described insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” Although the New York Jets franchise was not in existence when he uttered those words, I believe he was predicting the future of the team.

On Monday Night Football in front of a Prime Time audience, the Jets once again showed that they are not a real football team. This game was not the result of the Jets having an off game. This game was not the result of just poor execution by the home team. This game was not the result of the Patriots defense setting records for holding offenses through their first seven games. Those not familiar with the New York Jets franchise could believe those were crucial factors in the New England Patriots 33-0 victory. They were not.

The Johnson Brothers (Johnson & Johnson) purchased the team back in 2000 after longtime owner Leon Hess passed away in May of 1999.
They Johnson Brothers deserve the vitriol of a fan base that is forced to hide in humiliation. Week after week, season after season, year after year, decade after decade, a quarter-century after quarter-century and a half-century after a half-century, Jets fans take verbal abuse.

The latest clown in the circus that is the New York Jets is Adam Gase. Just like his predecessors, Todd Bowles, Rex Ryan, Eric Mangini, and Herman Edwards, Gase cowers in fear of the mighty Patriots.

I don’t enjoy being vicious with my words of choice when describing a professional sports franchise. However, the Jets effort on Monday was not the effort of a real franchise. It was not the effort of a functioning organization. The Jets were an embarrassment and a black mark on the National Football League on Monday.


Monday Night’s 33-0 victory was the Patriots’ eighth straight victory over the hapless Jets, setting a franchise record for most consecutive wins against them. Since the Jets supposed landmark victory over New England in the 2010 AFC Divisional Round, the Patriots are winners of 16 of 18. In eight of those victories, Tom Brady and company scored 30 or most points. Six of those wins saw Foxboro’s heroes triumph by 20 or more points.

Jets vs Patriots
Last 8 Prime Time Games
Patriots Wins*8
PPG Differential*+18>>
Tom Brady TD-INT*19-1
Jets QB TD-INT*5-19
>>Patriots 32 Jets 14

More disturbing than those dominant figures are the consistent beatings Brady’s teammates have laid upon Gang Green in prime time.
The Patriots have won the last eight meetings against the Jets by an average of 18 PPG (32-14). Tom Brady’s passing numbers are almost perfect, throwing 19 TD to 1 INT.

On the flip side, the Jets quarterbacks suffered many nights as Darnold did on Monday. Darnold is the sixth different quarterback to start for the Jets during this stretch. All of the Jets quarterbacks combined to throw 5 TD to 19 INT.

In closing, I would like to make a simple request to the NFL. PLEASE do not schedule Jets-Patriots prime time games anymore. Airing such destructing programming could permanently scar young children.